I get married on Saturday of this week, so in light of this great event, i want to share:
**three hard things I have learned on this journey of engagement:
1. there is a causal relationship between interacting with family while trying to plan the biggest event of your life and a dramatically increased level of stress.
2. i have had to fight more for time alone with God in the last six months than i ever have in my entire life.
3. engagement is stinkin’ hard. it is just plain difficult and here is why: i interact with ben on an almost daily basis whether it be in person/email/phone and all we want to be is married….at the end of the evening when we’re (i am) starving for connection, one of us (he) is all connected out and exhausted by the day’s activities. we have to sleep in separate places instead of sleeping under the same roof…there becomes a breakdown in communication and one of us (me) ends up hurt and feeling distant from the other… this is one of the more negative underlying themes of the journey of engagement.
did i explain myself okay? having a long engagement in america is kind of pointless unless you are already living with your significant other. that might be a pretty narrow-minded statement but given what i experienced above, it might be somewhat legitimate. something liam atchison said to me while we conversed about ben and i’s relationship stuck in my mind: (paraphrased) “if you want to get married, just do it…live life together, live through debt together, face the struggles and the joys together..don’t wait…” simply put, but really, why wait so long?
i realize after reviewing what i have written above i am somewhat cynical about my engagement period. i don’t have to like what i went through, but there is much to learn in retrospect from this time in my life. maybe i need to be a little further removed, say a few weeks after the wedding/honeymoon….
i do want to share some positive things that came out of this period of engagement:
…seeing my mom in “super-planning” mode and so excited because she is planning a wedding for her daughter (!!)
…wearing a diamond ring on my left hand:)
…seeing extended family members outside of holiday events
…planning the honeymoon to Colorado!
…getting great advice from my girlfriends
…being blessed with a wedding dresss that i absolutely LOVE.
…living with Shelley for this season of my life
…seeing the Lord provide for our new home and being “showered” with love and gifts….i don’t really despise the formalities
like i vent to people sometimes…:)
tonight is Wednesday. in two days I will wake up and stand before God and my community to voice my love for and commitment to ben. it will be beautiful and requiring faith and wonderful and exciting all simultaneously….