i have gone through a transformation of sorts.
getting married has changed my identity externally and it’s hard to cope with! i have to go somewhere and change my last name on my driver’s license, social security card, banking accounts, credit cards, business card, etc. it’s hard not introducing myself by my maiden last name…it’s especially hard when confirming an eye-doctor’s appointment or something like that where they ask for your last name first and you’re so used to giving them the name you’ve given for the last ten years or so….weird, huh?
if i may be so candid, falling asleep in the bed with someone next to you means that your personal space has been and will forever be invaded, but it also means that you can kick down the thermostat five or more degrees and rely on the mammal-warmth of the person next to you to keep your feet from becoming ice cubes.
being married has allowed me to shift into this sense of needing to nest…meaning, i want to create a space called home for ben and i. i want to put away the gifts, throw away all the boxes, arrange the furniture (acquire the furniture first), cook warm meals, set the table, decorate for christmas, clean the bathroom, put decorative pillows on the bed, light candles…many other things that i can’t think of right now as well. i want to sit in my home and rest with my new husband, enjoying the space we’ve created.
eventually, we will want to share this space with community. we will want to create space for our friends and family and invite them into the love of shared meals and sitting in candlelight, playing guitar, laughing, singing and praying together, sharing shoulders to cry on and patience to vent about the injustices of the world.
that sounds great, doesn’t it?