It’s hard to believe time. Sometimes it feels like forever and other times, it doesn’t go by slow enough! Both realities apply to my time with Kate. I could say she’s growing up so fast, but I spend all day (and night sometimes) with her, so the rate of her growth is better judged by people around me, and the doc!
Unfortunately, she is not feeling too well. We went to the doctor yesterday and found out she has RSV (a respiratory virus–bronchiolitis). Ben and I have enough to potentially be anxious about, and it is sooo hard seeing Kate sick…a persistent phlegmy cough, a leaky faucet for a nose, labored breathing, lethargy…for now it feels like time is going by sooo slow. I just want her to be healthy again. What was somewhat of a routine for us is no more, as she is up quite a bit at night, and I just try to feed her as much as possible to keep her hydrated. Even in the midst of her sickness, there are many moments where she smiles and coos, she stares into my eyes and responds to my conversation with her, so I hope she is on the downhill side of this virus. It stirs up a lot in me to see her sick like this, especially in light of sweet baby C’s passing and just wondering “what if”, you know? I know that RSV can be pretty dangerous due to potential of secondary infections like pneumonia and serious chronic breathing problems, especially in babies under six months. I just can’t even fathom life without Kate (this is where, in the midst of my anxiety, my thoughts will go to extremes)… So, while she is sick, the minutes tick by, the hours drone on, and eventually the days pass by and hopefully she’ll be healthy sooner than later.
I have compiled some of my favorite pics of her and one of my favorite times to take pics is in between feedings when she pulls off and looks up at me and we have the best “conversations” and sometimes she feels the freedom to make a cappuccino in her pants, as Ben likes to describe it…I happened to get a pic of her cappuccino-making face and it’s hilarious (the last pic). My time with her is so sweet and I don’t want to take it for granted:)